So, I am a VCE Revolutions student, and my exam is in six days. Tragically, My Revolutions teacher seems to take grave offence with my essay-writing style. Every time I send her an essay, I get this infuriated aggressive response (which is extremely demotivating) about everything I’ve done wrong. Which is, according to her, a lot.
But, ever one to take criticism in my stride, I noticed that a lot of the criticisms boiled down to the same thing: deviation from the set, rigid style of writing in which I trained myself to write for International Studies but subsequently abandoned because it is absolutely impossible to write essays in English and Philosophy that way. I’ve barely written any essays at all for History this year, which means that I now have five days to retrain myself to write the things in this strictly disciplined way. Great!
So, to make the task easier for myself, I’ve constructed a guide that reduces History essays to a fill-in-the-blanks style worksheet. The closer I adhere to this kind of structure, the happier my teacher will be (and at her happiest she’s still pretty cranky, but the less cranky the better!). Maybe it’ll be useful for others as well.
The Introduction
Step One
Rephrase the question so that it is no longer a question, or a statement telling the reader to do something, but a statement of opinion. Add the phrase “to some extent”. Examiners love the phrase “to some extent”. If you feel extremely strongly on the issue, you can be a little less ambivalent; you may be permitted to use words like “frequently”, “extensively” or, on the other side, “hardly”. But you may NEVER EVER express an opinion 100% on any side of the topic, even if that’s how you feel, because that shows you are an unsophisticated opinionated historian blinded by your own biases. Don’t do that. e.g.:
The Chinese Communist Party used violence, terror and coercion extensively against perceived obstacles and in response to crises that threatened the revolution.
Step Two
If you think the essay topic is true, write, “However, they did not always react this way.” If you think it is false, write, “However, sometimes they did.”
Step Three
Think of a counter-argument. If you do not have one, that shows (again) that you are an unsophisticated opinionated historian blinded by your own biases, and as we have already established, you don’t want to do that. Write it in one sentence. e.g.:
For instance, although the famine of 1958-1961 was a crisis, it was resolved by reversing aspects of the Great Leap Forward, not through violence.
Step Four
Now you may write a conciliatory sentence that re-introduces your main opinion to the argument. e.g.:
That said, many obstacles were addressed through violence.
Step Five
Since your counter-argument is, as the name suggests, the counter-balance to your real point, you may think of two real arguments now. e.g.:
The presence of dissenters in the People’s Republic of China presented an obstacle to the new regime that was continually dealt with through violence, terror and coercion. By the mid-1960s, Mao felt that the people’s loss of revolutionary fervour was another crisis, and this was dealt with through the brutality of the Cultural Revolution.
The Paragraphs
Step One
Write another one-sentence summary of the point of this paragraph. Do not just re-use the one you wrote for the introduction, because that shows you are a lazy historian, and that’s almost worse than being blinded by your biases. So, write a new one. e.g.:
The Cultural Revolution begun in 1965, as a response to dwindling enthusiasm for the revolution — a situation Mao felt was a crisis.
Step Two
Explain how this relates to your argument. Examiners aren’t there to think, so if you do not make it very very clear how everything relates to your argument, they’ll get upset. Thinking?! That’s not their job. Taking marks off you? That is. Don’t make it easier for them than it has to be. e.g.:
This is another example of the violent coercion and terror the new regime used against its citizens, in an attempt to remove obstacles to its rule.
Step Three
Cite a statistic or fact to provide evidence for your point. e.g.:
Up to three million people died in the Cultural Revolution, and many more suffered traumatic, violent fates.
Step Four
Cite another. If it’s particularly long, skip to step six. If it’s not, do step five. e.g.:
The Red Guards, with significant encouragement from Chairman Mao, attacked many supposed enemies of the revolution. Many teachers were attacked regardless of whether or not they were actually reactionary; Mao distrusted education as something that limited people’s ability to be good communists, and the teenage Red Guards hated their teachers.
Step Five
If you’re not running out of time, or if your other two points were both short, cite another piece of evidence! e.g.:
Terror consumed China as friends, family and neighbours would report on one another for doing or saying the slightest reactionary thing. Those who held grudges would make up a story to get their enemies punished.
Step Six
Having probably written way too much (I always do!), it’s time to wrap it up. Summarise how it relates to your argument (making sure to address every key point of the topic; if it mentions crises and violence, talk about both) and move on to the next paragraph (or the conclusion). e.g.:
Due to this violence and terror, the vast majority of Chinese people did not dare to voice “reactionary” views, and committed themselves - at least outwardly - to the socialist revolution. However, the “crisis” of the existence of moderates was not addressed effectively; a Chinese observer commented that the Cultural Revolution made them “cynical”, the opposite of Mao’s aim. Nonetheless, this is a clear example of the way violence was used.
The Conclusion
Step One
Rewrite the introduction, but shorter. Rather than the three points being separate sentences, smush them into the one sentence. Try to think of a good, solid statement to finish off with. If you’re like me this will be impossible, as by the time you get to the conclusion, you’ll have sixty seconds to write the entire thing. But try. e.g.:
Mao’s regime frequently resorted to violence to eliminate perceived obstacles and resolve crises. Although they did not always resort to violence, as shown through their response to the famine, it was the way they chose to deal with “reactionaries”, beginning in 1949 and intensifying during the Cultural Revolution. As Jenner writes, “people had learned to be afraid.”
As a disclaimer, I make no guarantee that this guide will work any better than writing an essay in any other way. However, if my teacher is going to whinge about the way I choose to write my essays, I suppose it’s better to appease her on the off-chance she may be right.